I added a verse to this photo that I shared earlier. I keep looking at this darling, angry face and know there is NO humbleness going on here. There is no brokenness, no contriteness. Only a demand of getting his own way and anger at being told no. The difference between being disciplined and crying in pain and being caught versus the cry of repentance. How often is this the face I'm making on the inside when God tells me no? It's not pretty. Or how about the adult that's been caught living in sin and promises not to take those actions again, but there is no repentance? and he'd make those same choices again if he could?
God is only pleased in confession when we express a broken and repentant heart before Him. A heart bowed down low, letting go of pride and saying, "I was wrong and I broke God's rules. I need God's help in being obedient and making choices that please Him" and then accept whatever discipline is necessary.
I struggle so much in not just to discipline my children, but to also, and more importantly, reach their hearts. For them to have a heart that wants to please Jesus, and not just exhibit right actions. After experiencing a particularly rough day with my 4 year old, she says, "Mama, I try so hard to do what Jesus wants me to do, but it's just so hard!"
I have learned so much about being a child of God by becoming a parent. That I too, would be repentant over my sins and accept the Father's loving discipline. That I, too, hurt the heart of God when I sin. I make the same mistakes over and over again, and His Love Endures Forever. He always forgives. So must I.
The Gifts the Father Lavished on me this week:
Studying Esther--God has a plan even when we don't see Him at work
Long bike rides
Rainy days and movies
Praying with friends
Reading books together under the tree
Riding bikes up and down the sidewalk
Clean sheets that smell like fresh air
Husband coming home after a long day
Squeals of "Da-Da" from Mav when Daddy comes home
Seeing Tim and Mav snuggled up together watching YouTube videos of trucks
Hannah diligently drawing birds and horses
Growing bodies from summer's fresh air
Divine appointments with a friend on FB
Reading the story of the Great Redemption with my girls
Luxury of study time
Fog condensing on my eye lashes during early morning runs
Friends who ask the hard questions
Ice cream dates
Windy walks on the pier
Babysitters who build outdoor forts and do real tea parties...because I never do
Scratches and bugbites earned hard at play
Watching my 4 year old flirt with another 4yo across the sanctuary during singing time at church
Prayer was given proper time of worship during offering today
Ryan teaching on integrity in Sunday school today
Jesus was a man's man, not passive or without godly authority, a real thinker
Newly mowed grass
Girls out on errands with daddy
Pool is up and without leaks